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Monday, August 25, 2008

I'm so tired...

of how fast time is passing by. I know this post is rather depressing after how cheerful I sounded in the last post, but I just got tired of how people always leave after I spent so much time getting to know them and became friends with them. It's not like we end on negative terms or anything, but I've realized that no matter how much you want to, other people are not going to stop their lives for you.

At the end of the 7-day travel tour my mom and I took, I really felt like I connected with a lot of people. I was very happy. Nowadays friends are very hard to come by, but no matter how I didn't want to, the 7 days past in a flash, and it was time to say goodbye. I'm not very good with goodbyes, because I know that even though the technology is really advanced and everything, and that people always say they are going to stay in touch, eventually they get along with their lives, and our special little bonds get lost in time. I know that some people will say that "out with the old, in with the new", but from my past experiences, I've come to learn that as you age, it gets more difficult to meet genuine people. Advance technology is a double-edged sword: it can help people stay in touch over time, yet it makes life so fast-paced that people forget about the ones they used to hang out with.

I know I'm sounding very melancholy at the moment, but I just realized that I'm about to turn 21 (in November), yet, other than my boyfriend, I haven't found a true best friend. All my best friends are periodical(?), like elementary, highschool, college...I've never had a best friend that transcends through time. I guess, for tonight, even with my boyfriend holding me, I'm still lonely. I'm still longing for genuine friendship. I think I'm very greedy, I want more than just my mom and boyfriend as my friends. I'm so tired of people leaving, I'm so tired to all the back-stabbing, I'm so tired of loneliness, and last but not least, I'm so damn tired of sitting here helplessly as time goes by, not able to do anything.

On a happier note, here are some pics of my FOTD (I did a tut on this too, it's on youtube).

My fun back-2-school look:

What I used:
--EDM fairly light Original Glow w/ Cinema Secret moisture spray
--Coverblend concealer in light
--MAC bronzer in refined golden

--MAC Emote to contour
--Tony & Tina blush in self healing

--Mehron paradise palette in pastel (light brown as a base)
--Amuse professional palette in peachy champagne, shimmery white, and antiqued bronze, and a bright blue as a bottom liner.
--L'oreal HIP cream liner in brown
--Maybellin full & soft mascara
--Rimmel Glam'eyes

--Urban Decay Lip palette in Wallflower

Here are more pics from the trip:

At the arches:

At Coors factory:

With the bus driver and the (cute) tour guide:

Passed out at the hotel:

I love this pic, I think it's artsy-fartsy:

I love you all. Please remember that no matter how insignificant or terrible a day seems, there is always someone that's hoping to make your day a little better. Pay attention to the people around you, you might notice some people who are trying their best to be friends with you. Please give them a moment of your time, and trust me, it's going to make YOU feel a million times better.



miemiemie said...

aww you look so cute and pretty :)

Vanessa <3 said...


fuzkittie said...

I love the way you line your eyes.

I feel the same way about friends as well... but I'm always the one moving! :[ My only great friends were all from school, but school doesn't last forever... :[ It's great to have the bf as a best friend as well, but sometimes we just need girls! :]

Oh that's why I said we should have the pow wow more often! Hehee.

ilurvemakeup said...

Aww Tao my love, it's def hard to fnid a solid good friend or friends. Although my hubby is the best friend of my life, we do need different companionship elsewhere :( If we knew each other irl I'd be over your house every day playing makeup with you for sure! :)

Nic Nic said...

i know what you means about frds.. its happened to me. ive kind of accepted that fact. im lucky that some frds have stuck by. hope you cheer up!!

love the fotd! very cute :)

' * : . b | u 3 . : * ' said...

i feel that i'm in the same situation too...i've always moved around so none of my friends are particularly close anymore. Most are usually busy with their own lives and families :( The only person I really talk to is the bf but sometimes I wish I had someone else to talk to about girly things and also when boy troubles arise :P Hang in there, hopefully we'll find people who are looking for the same thing :)

A said...

Hey there Tao,

I just wanted to say that you described the EXACT same boat that I am on. I've never had a lifelong friend who has transcended through time with me, it was always as if it HAD TO end somewhere. I still have my best friend, but she moved away to California (I'm in Canada) and the only way we really keep in contact is through chat and email...and even that, is not constant like we normally would talk to eachother when she was here. *sigh* It's hard. And you are right on the money, it's so hard to meet genuine people these days. So thought I'd let you know, there's someone out there who feels the exact same way as you do.

ilurvemakeup said...

Tao my love you're too funny hehe :) The entry she was refering to is: click here :) I was sick and was on meds at that time. When I'm on meds I tend to gain weight :( I was hospitalized too so yeah hehe

LadyJane said...

It's true that it's difficult to find genuine people nowadays. I find that I do feel lonely at times, but I realize that although my friends are busy with their own lives we still care about each other. Even though we only get to see each other a few times a year, everytime we hang out, it's like we never skipped a beat. With school starting for you, maybe you'll be able to make friends with new people and hopefully you'll be able to stay in touch. It's comforting to know that you're a genuine person who pays attention to those in your life. (hugs)

DyahAlit said...

blog hoppin'! :)

yea somehow i do agree, even if you're living close enough with ur friends, they can just suddenly disappeared before you :(

oh and i love the looks! it's really nice :)