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Monday, January 19, 2009

Near Death Experience....

...is what I just had. Good thing my BF was there to give me a hand, otherwise I will be known as the girl who choked on a peanut butter sandwich.....


BULLSHIT!!! You almost KILLED me you little delicious MOFO!!

How the hell was I supposed to know that my BF is intellectually challenged to make PB & J? I thought all the peanut butter and jelly were perfectly even throughout the sandwich...Lesson learned: DON'T ASSUME ANYTHING!! Just before I make perfect sandwiches, it does NOT mean that other people do too. There was this BIG glop of peanut butter all concentrated at one spot!! Unknowingly, I took a big bite...The bite almost cost me my life. Just a little FYI: peanut butter is REALLY dry, so you better be DAMN sure that you have some drinks with you. Of course, I was a retard and didn't think about that before I took the bite, so I was choking on the bread/peanut butter mix!! The dry mixture got stuck in my throat and I couldn't even speak!

Fortunately my BF was near by and heard my gargling sound. He rushed over and handed me some water (it's to my suspicion that he had experienced the same thing before). Once I got the water...I felt the life come back to my body. HOLY CRAP!! That was so scary.

I got SO irrationally angry at my sandwich, but not angry enough to throw it away. If looks could kill, the poor PB&J would've been LONG dead. I stuffed it in my mouth and chewed it furiously (carefully too!). HAHA, LOOK WHO GOT THE LAST LAUGH NOW!

Anywho, let this be a lesson to all of you that eat too quickly, FOOD CAN KILL!
'Night!
Tao

P.S. The above story is TRUE! I didn't make any of this up.

21 comments:

fuzkittie said...

Haha! Funny (but not so funny) story~ Glad you're ok, next time take a smaller bite!

M said...

you're adorable! i choke on pb all the time >.<

SexxyStarr said...

Glad ur ok! PB has to be spread thin. (now i suddenly got the erge for a pb&j)

Tina Marie Online said...

hahaha aww. i'm sorry to hear about your near death experience.

your BF is your hero. aww :)
just tell him to make better pb&j's. lol

isn't there a recall on peanut butter? hrmmmmmmmmmm.

LadyJane said...

LOL. You're so silly. I'm glad you're okay. Next time, YOU should make a PB&J sandwich for your bf to show him how it's done!

miemiemie said...

aww you are the cutest thing ever. sorry about the near death experience but when i first saw your title and 1st paragraph, the first thing that came to me was that you were allergic to peanutbutter and your bf had no idea..something like that. haha. i hate eating peanut butter..sorry but i'm not too fond of it, i feel like choking by its smell.

ANGE said...

omg that is so .... horrible yet im laughing ... :S

MakeupByRenRen said...

OMG lol sorry! i'm glad ur okay :)

Le Midget said...

Hahaha I'm glad you're alive :) haha

Lily said...

lmao tao you are hilarious!

Imperials said...

Love your blog....very informative and entertaining!

Nanzy said...

hahahahahha i know i shdn't laugh at this but it's kinda funny, glad you're ok =)

Vanessa M. said...

awww glad your okay!

(( K@Y )) said...

haha...
Oh the peanut...
Glad your ok!

Melanie said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Melanie said...

haha.. u crack me up Tao! glad you're okkkk!!!

angie519 said...

AWWWWWW!!! Glad you're okay. Hahha silly bf who tried to kill you ;)

You just made my day.. haha even though it's an unfortunate situation .. haha sorry =P

♡ Nic Nic ♡ said...

glad you're okay! peanuts can be dangerous in many ways! :S

Emilita said...

The silver lining: at least you didn't get salmonella(...?)

The best part of the story is that you finished eating the sandwich.

BunnieAnn said...

Actually, we should all stay away from peanut butter and peanuts right now. It was said on the news that it's contaminated with salmonella, and is being recalled. I hope everything is alright!

' * : . b | u 3 . : * ' said...

lol I'd never let the bf hear the end of it if I were you :P Glad you were fine !