Has there been times when you just feel unexplained wave of jealousy toward someone? Well, I'm experiencing that after looking at Angela Baby's Xanga site.
This is she:
I know she's GORGEOUS, I know she's famous, I know she's richer than a motherfucker, AND I know that she has a killer bod. I know there's no reason for me to be jealous because I know I will NEVER look like her. However, I'm SO unrationally jealous of her. Because she's pretty, she got to be a model and make a lot of money. I used to think that looks aren't everything, but recent events have changed that.
My boyfriend's sister (Sam) who just turned 18 got into UF. She got in because her BF's step-grandpa is a huge benefactor to the school. He donated millions and millions of dollars to our school, so he's on the Board of Trustees. Even though she won't admit it, I know Sam is dating that guy b/c of the grandpa connection. Her mom helped her out a lot, giving her tips on how to flirt with the guy and make nice with his family. Her bf's mom told Sam's mom that she got in weeks before the result came out, and of course, she got in. However, she didn't tell anyone about this connection thing. Her mom told everyone that Sam got in b/c of her grades (which is decent, but not amazing).
One thing about Sam is that she's striking. She used to be a model, and still models occasionally. She's petite (size 00) and very A&F. She has blond hair, blue/gray eyes, and perfect lips. Because of those characteristics, she's had guy after guy, and people always revolve around her, especially her mother. My bf's mom is always spending $$ on Sam, hair appointments, shopping trips, going out to eat (Who the fuck spends $2o on PF Chang's to bring lunch to her daughter in highschool?), flying her everywhere to meet cute guys....etc. However, when it comes to my BF, it's always "Money is a little tight right now", well it won't be if you freakin' saved some!!
I had to work my ass off to get to where I am, but all she needed to do was to flirt with some guy and now she's in. I used to take comfort in the fact that I'm the brainy one and she's the pretty one, but now she's apparently gorgeous AND intelligent. I've got NOTHING. Sam and Angela Baby both are the kind of people that are naturally gorgeous. They don't need makeup nor expensive clothing to look amazing. I need to spend 30 minutes doing makeup alone. I was brought up under my mom's influence that we should always choose brains over brawn, but nowadays, I'm not sure anymore.
Let's be honest, when you are gorgeous, things come so much easier, wealth accumulates faster, and life in general is just a lot happier. I know it's silly for me to be jealous over these things, but lately my life has been so hectic that sometimes I wonder if life would be easier if I were prettier. I'm just rambling on now, it's almost 2 in the morning, and I've been up for more than 18 hrs, and I think I'm hallucinating.
However, I think if I lost some weight, I will look a little better. My skin will probably clear up without all the junk in my body, my hair will be more luscious, my body will be amazing, and maybe, just maybe, my life will be easier. Maybe, if I were skinner, blunt bangs will look amazing on me; if I were skinner I can wear $3 clothes and still look sizzling; if I were skinner, jobs will be easier to find. I've never been skinny, and maybe, just maybe, this year I will be.
My starting weight: 150lbs
My Goal Weight: 110 lbs
My starting time: 2/23/09
My Goal Time: 11/19/09
Duration: 9 months
I don't think this will be hard. 40lbs in 9 months? That's like 5 lbs a month. I think I can make it. I need your support girls, I will update this blog (hopefully) daily to keep myself on track...OR I can have a new blog dedicating to diet (which I think is actually better). So, anyway, stay tuned for more.
Good night and have a pleasant tomorrow.