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Friday, April 17, 2009

Does this make me a bad person?

Sorry, sorry, I know I said that this post will be beauty related...However, after recording a video, my camera died on me so now I'm in the process of recharging it. I will post the review ASAP.

Now, I've been bothered by something that's just happened. As many of you know, I've been really stressed out about the group project I'm working on, along with 4 other ppl. Now the assignment is to come up with something that would save a failing company. It's due next Tuesday. The paper has to be 35 pages long. Our group divided up the work to be 4 students, including me, work on researching to find the data/info, and 1 student, who's brilliant at turning one sentence into an entire paragraph, to write the paper. We've got all the info now, just to find out that she got really ill and was rushed to the hospital.

My first reaction was "OH SHIT! What about the project?!" instead of "OMG! Is she ok?"....and I'm deeply ashamed of that. I don't know since when I've turned into this selfish person. Of course, the project is worth half of our grade, but our group member, who is really nice and a vital part of our team is very very sick, and all I care about is my grade? That realization made me shudder.

I don't want to turn into one of those ppl that only care about themselves. I still want to be compassionate and caring.... Does what I thought make me a bad person? I don't know....

Peace out,
Confused Tao

P.S. but seriously though, I'm freaking out about the looming deadline. Shit.

P.P.S Here's my second contest. Good luck!

15 comments:

MissChievous said...

That would most likely be my 1st thought too. Don't stress too much about it, university is a competitive environment and we all want to achieve our best.

K said...

I think this kind of reaction is natural. I don't know how close you are with her, but since half of your grade depends on her, it is an understandable reaction.

I think what counts is how you reacted outwardly. I doubt you talked about your grade to your other group members before voicing your concern. Your emotions are not always something you can control. Your reaction, in terms of how it is perceived by other people, is something which you can control.

And I do hope this works out in the end!!

Amy said...

If it was me, I'd be thinking exactly the same thing. I think it's only natural to be thinking of yourself, it's a really stressful time, I was in a similar position last year. My final year project was due to be handed in the next morning, my boyfriend, who also had one to write helped me with mine, we didn't sleep the whole week leading up to the dreaded date. However, that night before it was due in,he fell asleep and I was so mad that he could sleep and leave me all to do my project, no moral support, no trying to keep me awake - how selfish was that, esp. as he's the sort of person that NEEDS sleep. I ended up crying to myself because I was so mad at him but also because I felt so guilty for being mad at him.

The fact that you are writing about feeling selfish shows that you're not a bad person and that you are actually thinking of this girl. It's only because the deadline is so soon and you're majorly stressed. Have you asked your teachers about an extension since your friend is in hospital?

leslielovesmakeup said...

NO, you are definitely not a bad person. You have you eyes set on your goals and you really the end of the year is coming up with all the projects due, you can only deal with so much. At least you thought about her though, thats all that matters. You could have been heartless and totally have not thought about her at all.

izumi said...

The fact that you're aware of being selfish means you're not selfish. Just like when you think you're crazy, you're not crazy. It's just natural to think of yourself first.. don't worry about it!

spankedelic said...

hey, honey. i just wanted to check on you. did you ever decide what you're gonna do about your relationship status? i hope everything works out for you!!!

spankedelic said...

if you ever need to vent or need advice, email me =) i'm sure you'll be fine. distance makes the heart grow fonder. you guys seem mature and i think it'll work out! it'd be a shame to throw so many years away. just be strong.

jojoba said...

well, you are a full time student and of course that was on your mind! you are only human! and being honest about it and posted it for us to read about your not-so-caring side. :P well, don't worry. i bellieve many and most of us in your situation will react similarly (but may be in slience instead.) i believe you also worry about her or else you won't have posted it.

i hope is well soon and your project turns out fine. i'd contact your professor about the situation first before tuesday. :)

good luck.

echoli said...

Don't feel bad, it's not a selfish thought. Is it possible to get an extension from your professor by explaing your group member's condition? Since it is a group project, it does take a team's effort to make it happen. I hope everything works out fine and good luck.

~Mel said...

yeah i thought the same way too.. i think it's just natural.. hopefully she's alright and heal soon! =/

Lalaxloca said...

Don't trip, you thought nothing wrong. Hope you all figure it out! by the way i've started blogging too...CHECK OUT MY BLOG AT LALAXLOCA.BLOGSPOT.COM

Catherine said...

Aww, you're such a sweetheart, Tao. You're not a bad person at all. I agree with everyone else. I think it's just part of the natural fight or flight response of the body to first think of how it affects yourself when encountering a stressful situation, but after that moment, your thoughts turned to her. Best wishes to her, & to you and your group. =)

♡ Nic Nic ♡ said...

i dont think it makes you a bad person. it's just one of those initial reactions. If you were self then you wouldn't be feeling guilty. dont feel bad! hope your frd is ok!

aravinda devi said...

Hey Tao..hope everything is ok with u now..at least getting better.. :)
my mom said people who realised or think about what they did means those people are not bad..cos bad people won't even know that they are bad..if u get my meaning.. :)

gud luck with everything..n no..u r not bad at all..b sure about that..

amy said...

i remember liz used to have this quote on her yt page, "doubt is the beginning, not the end, of wisdom"

i think that could somewhat be applied to what you're talking about. may sound like a horrible thing, but it's natural to think of yourself first..but the fact that you're questioning that reaction..just shows you're not a bad person..just human