Hi guys! First of all, a big THANK YOU to all of you that participated in my sales! I can't believe how fast some things went! So expect another sale coming up soon.
Secondly, I've been having some thoughts about the whole long distance relationship thing. I guess I should give you all a history of my BF and I.
This was the 70's night, so we dressed the part. DO NOT make fun of my outfit!
We met in junior year in highschool, AP Chem class. We were both 16 at the time, though I'm 4 months older than him (I was born in Nov 87, he was born March 88). He helped me with my chemical hw (all hw to be honest) and everything, life was good. After hs, we got into the same univeristy, which is University of Florida. His major is chemical engineering, mine is marketing. We lived in the dorms our freshman year, but moved in together for the next 2 yrs. We both graduated in 3 years. Now, after we are done with our undergrad, I'm staying in my school to do a International Business master program, and he's going to University of Colorado to attend their Chemical engineering PhD program. I will (hopefully) be done in a year, but his will take about 5 yrs (stupid PhD!). However, this means that we will still be apart for at least 1 year.
We are twinners!!!
This is where the problem starts. We've never been apart for more than 2 weeks! We are like Siamese twins. We are eachother's shadow. We are eachother's best friend (at some point in time, we were eachother's only friend). After 4.5 yrs, I don't really know if I still remember how to live without him. I'm not the kind of person that goes out to clubs and do crazy things. I'm a homebody. I go to school, come home, shop online. Yes, we are 21 going on 81. I don't know why some people like to go out and cause a scene and later complain about the drama. In my opinion, going out = drama (trust me, I've tried). Although I have friends, I don't really feel like I relate to them. I don't trust ppl easily and I don't really work at maintaining friendships. When people call me, I don't return their calls, etc, I know I'm a horrible friend. However, my BF was ALWAYS there for me , even thru some of the toughest times, and I was always there for him.
Spot the MAC pallete! LOL!
All of a sudden, I feel like I'll be apart from my best friend and lover. My feeling have been so conflicted. On one hand, I know I should set him free, but on the other hand, I can't help but feel some anxiety because I don't know what's gonna happen. I don't want to be the psycho GF that checks his email/facebook/phone record/hire a private investigator to follow him around, but then again, I don't really trust anybody. I know how some girls can be very....direct and desperate. They will do whatever nessesary to get what/who they want. A lot of you might be asking: "Doesn't he give you the sense of security? You still don't trust him after almost 5 yrs?" I'm worried BECAUSE he's such an awesome BF. He's been the perfect boyfriend: attentive, gentle, yet sometimes spontaneous. Even though he's been 120% devoted the entire time we've been together, I'm afraid other girls will see it and want to get their hands on such a wonderful BF too.
Prom....my hair was a DISASTER!
The thing I'm most afraid of the fact that we will drift apart. Now we are always together, we know the same people, go to the same place, have the same discussion topics, etc. What happens if we have separate groups of friends, focus on different things, and no longer have that same connection? I'm sure you've all had that best friend, the one who's very close to you, but after a while of not seeing them, all of a sudden they seem like strangers. I'm afraid that's gonna happen with my BF and I.
He will be tremendously busy w/ his 18 hr work day because he had to be the TA for a class, take classes, AND do research. I will be doing study abroad and take a lot of classes myself. Of course we will try to stay as connected as possible via phone, MSN, and emails, but I just can't shake that feeling of loss away....
This is why I will NEVER use pencil eyeliner again!
Thanks in advance!