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Thursday, September 10, 2009


Can't live with them, can't live without them.

Honestly, after dealing with people day after day, I've seriously given up hope on finding friends like the ones on Sex and the City. All I want is someone who won't judge me; someone who will be there when I need a shoulder to cry on; someone who will call me up and drag me out when I'm being anti-social; someone who, after years and thousands of miles apart, will still say "Hey Tao! I miss you!" and mean it. I don't know if I'm asking for too much.

I miss the good o' days when friends are just friends. I miss the times when making friends are purely for entertainment purposes without the worry of "networking" and job searches. I want to be free from the whole "What does he/she want from me?" mentality. I don't want to be friendly to people just to be hurt in the end. I don't want to be in that "Shoulda Coulda Woulda" stage again...

Last but definitely not least, I don't want my real friends to leave and move on with their lives without remembering they still have me. My dear friend Sandy is going to New York this Saturday to job search, and I'm dreading the moment of separation. I've know her since my Freshman ('06) year in college. Over the years we've had the good, the bad, and the ugly, but in the end we still remained close friends, TRUE friends. I don't want time and distance to break that bond. People always promise to stay in touch when they leave, yet very very few of them actually do. I know it's not easy to make real friends now, so I don't want to lose the few that I have.

I guess the point of this depressing entry is this: Please treasure your good friends. Be patient, be nice, don't take them for granted. There will come a day when you realize that you are not ready to let go. All I can do right now is wish her the best. She is a great person and deserves the best things in life plus more. I want to be able to see her years later and say: "Hey Sandy! I missed you!" and continue the conversation like we've never been apart.

To my beloved friend Sandy,


There will come a day when we could gather again and light up fireworks together. I sincerely wish that day would come sooner.

As always, I leave you with love and blessings.



a.z.♥ said...

um you're awesome because your post basically sums up how I've been feeling for the past few months.

♥stay strong tao! :)

Daituf said...

Totally understand ya!
For me, I want Friends, like the show "Friends"...
Is Tao your first name? That is so cool, and rare! Tao is my last name.
Which is why your blog caught my eye... You are so incredibly funny!
I love your workout video "Richard something...the really flaming guy..."
Hahah, you are hilarious!
I would totally be your friend with no ulterior motive...:)

monica said...

hi tao!! i've been a longtime follower of your blog :) just wanted to let you know that your post really spoke to me too - it sums up beautifully what i've been feeling for a long while. it really is harder to find good friends now that i've been done with school for awhile and also cuz i'm not a big clubber/partier. anyway, just wanted to let you know that you're not alone!! :)

Askmewhats said...

I totally understand what you mean, we may have a lot of people around us but true friends really are one of a kind, if you found one, treasure them! :) thanks for the lovely post! Such a nice reminder!

Anonymous said...

Hi Tao! I just wanted you to know that your post really touched me. Not only are you beautiful, you seem very down to earth and wise. I hope the best for you and your friend.


Connie said...

I totally know what you mean. I feel like you're taking the words right out of my brain when I read your first paragraph...

I honestly wish I had a friend that was everything you described, but I don't. I'm still hoping to find her one of these days, but I know that gets harder the older we get...but I'm an optimist, so wish me luck.

I hope you and your friend stay in touch! Keep up with everything you do, and good luck with school!

Carine said...

I don't think that you're asking for too much : that's what friends are for !
Don't worry, if you're really good friends, you'll stay in touch. I know, it's hard when a friend moves away from you..but hey, when you'll go in NY, you'll have a place to say at :p

xSplendidStar said...

Aww I know how you feel, funnily enough I have been wondering the same thing lately 'cause everyone from my school is going their different ways now since we are all going to colleges now. It's hard but you know that your true friends will never forget you and keep in contact with you no matter what their path may be.

Thank you for posting about how you feel! It really made me realise that I'm not on my own <33

Anonymous said...

See? This is why I love you! You take the words right out of my mouth! You are definitely not alone, we all need some friends.

Kizzy said...

Lovely post :-)
I totally agree with what you wrote.

izumi said...

so sad when friends move away >__< i've definitely lost the "closeness" of my group of friends with the distance.. but once we see each other it goes back to normal.

SivLy said...

That is really sweet. Many of us feel the same. You're an amazing and very caring person, Tao. I wish you two the best <3

Anonymous said...

The separation might be hard but just as long as the both of you keep in touch on a monthly basis then you should be fine.

I understand your frustration. There are a lot of not-so-cool people, who only want to use others for gain but be wise in choosing who your true friends are and they are the people that can be count on when things happen and will not use you for selfish purposes. Hope you feel better. Be strong. =)

May said...

Hi Tao!
This blog reminded me of a few good friends, the ones that stuck with me through the ugly and the even uglier. One friend really popped in my mind though.
I've met her since grade 6, so it's been 10 years now. I'm gonna be honest as well, it's never easy to keep in contact especially with the distance and just issues arising. But you gotta have faith. If both of you wants to remain friends, you can do it no matter what goes down. I had a lot of issues during highschool and lost all contact with her. We had a 4 years gap, yet once we started talking again, it was all there. I was horribly worry about it being awkward, but it wasn't at all. When you're truly friends with someone, time isn't an issue, distance isn't an issue, what matters the most is the heart. I think all those things we ask for in friends is really all about the heart. This gets harder as we get older, which is even more reason why everyone really needs a true friend to keep that heart pumping, loving and caring. The concrete world may try to get us cold-hearted, yet a true friend will remind us to warm that heart up again.
Don't worry too much! Good luck Tao and good luck to your friend as well! Just like those fireworks, I hope you two will never lose that friendly spark.

Miss Neesh said...

What a beautiful and touching post.

You sound like a person anyone would be extremely lucky to have as a friend.

I am currently in a place where I am reassessing my friends and sorting out who are the "real" ones who I will have for life so your post really resonated with me. I am meeting a lot of people who are the networkers and the fake friends and I really don't have time for that.

Your post has helped me to appreciate the wonderful people in my life who have been with me during the ups and downs and how they are worth more than anything.

Thanks, and I hope all your friends appreciate the warmth and generosity of spirit you offer.

Miss Neesh

Ethereal Prey said...

come to nyc and visit me and your friend. things are tough in nyc, hope things go well with your friend.

Baober said...

Dear Tao,
I am so touched by your "Friends" blog, deeply deeply . When I first saw you on You tube(my very first strong addiction), you like you right away. I love watcing your videos, and your personality is just so honest , funny, and brillant. I fall in love with makeup,and also starting paining my nails. I've learned so much from you. I really admire you, especially your confidence, that is something that I wish I would have more myself. I watched the video that you spoke in Chinese, that made me fell warming in heart. There is something about being in other country , not being able to speak Chinese and whenever I heard someone talks in my language, makes me kinda want to cry. I moved to America when I was 16, and my life turned up side down eversince. I completely understand how you fell about friends. I have never fell as comfortable as I would be with my friends here then my friends back home in China. I miss the pure friendship, and the caring and love from them. I miss the times when I hang out with my friends, and palying 麻将,shopping together, going to KFC, having sleep overs,and having birthday parties..... I miss them so much.
Tao, thank you so much for giving me the warmth. I know it might sound creepy, but I actually feel over connected to you. If you know what I mean. Make up has broght so much happines, and you, you are great.
Best wishes to you and all your friends!

Amy said...

Hey Tao, I love your blog :)
This post summed up how I was feeling today as a close friend of mine seems to be taking her real friends for granted... It also made me realise how much I love my best friends. :)
Good luck with everything

Anonymous said...

Hey Tao!!!
I have to say, i feel the same. I'm not a big clubber/ party girl, which seems like the rule for making friends at uni. All my bestest friends were made when i was younger, and those who have made friends in uni. doesn't seem to last, so i totally understand what you're saying.
I went to an all girls school, and everyone in our year got alone, but we had our clicks of 'close friends'. Now tat we're all up-and-down the UK in Uni. I do feel as though we're less close each holiday catch-up, which is sad.
I don't trust people very easily/ at all, ie. i just wouldn't start a conversation with some people, for absolutely no reason, not that i think i'm too good for them, it's just... i don't know... some people you just know to keep away from, you know?
well... i supppose we have to get used to it. Like my parents, they don't have much friends, because most people are just not trustworthy or friends that are friends because you're useful to them.
I do wonder, will i ever meet people who are just like ME!
anyways, i'm babbling, LOVE your work on Youtube and Blogs!


Rachel said...

Wow! I'm really touched by your post. You seem to be such an amazing person and people are definitely missing out something if they haven't met you :) While reading, I felt related to every single sentence. I've also always dreamed of having such friends and I'm kinda mad at the world for making it all so complicated. You're absolutely right, if one has found such a true friend, they should treasure it as good as possible :) Loved your post ♥