Yes, this is a rant. This ain't beauty-related. If you don't want your day to be ruined by my potty mouth/foul attitude, it'd be best for you to exit this blog right now. Come back tomorrow and I might be all cheery and fun again. Either that, or I will be so loaded up on caffeine, but you won't be able to tell anyway.
I've been driven crazy by people who are close to me; people who, as they say, love me the most and want to shield me from all bad things. However, when it comes to a point where I want to join the Witness Protection Program in order to not have to call/see you, it's no longer called love.
I'm at a point in my life right now to make some tough decisions. I need to focus on my courses in order to graduate in May; I need to find a job out in Colorado so I can be with my BF after graduation; and I also need to figure out what to do with my townhouse after I leave Gainesville. All these shit have been taking a toll on my mood.
Thus, it's suffice to say all the questioning I've been getting from my mom, the BF, and his mom haven't been helping.
The things my mom asks:
"Are you looking for a job?" "What kind of job are you looking at?" "That's BLUE-COLLAR!! My daughter can't work blue collar jobs!" <---This is after I told her I want to work at MAC if I can't find other jobs. "What are you gonna do with the place?" "How are your classes going? I hope you aren't making me disappointed." "Why can't you get a job? So & So got a job that pays $80,000 straight out of college. What's wrong with you?" "Why are you spending so much money?"
The things my BF asks:
"Are you coming out to Colorado?" "Are you getting a job?" "Are you looking for jobs?" "What kind of stuff do you want to do when you come out during Spring Break?" "Where are you gonna live? We need to find a new place cuz my apartment isn't big enough for all your crap." "What would you do if you can't find a job in Colorado? Are you just gonna sit at home? I won't be able to support both of us and two cats with my salary."
The things his mom asks:
"Are you moving out to Colorado to keep my son company?" "When are you getting married?" "I want my grandbabies. When are you going to have kids?" "How's the job searching thing going?" "How are your classes? What are you taking? Can you handle them?"
SHUT. THE. FUCK. UP! Everyone. Just chill the fuck out and shut the fuck up. I don't know what's going on. I don't know how I'm going to get a job. I don't know what to do with my townhouse. I don't know I don't know I don't know.
While some of you might think the questions are normal, it gets really annoying after the 10th time. The thing that makes me angry is that while they ask those and demand answers, they don't help me to find a solution.
The MOST annoying one is my mom. She's your typical overprotective Asian mom. While my BF envies that she provides financial support for me, he doesn't know how annoying it is to HAVE to call her 5 times a day to "check in". She doesn't listen. She doesn't stop talking when I try to explain my side of the story. She doesn't stop nagging. She has all my information for everything: banks, credit cards, schools, EVERYTHING. She would call somewhere pretending to be me to get information/update. Sometimes she'll talk on a phone and I will go get a drink of water/pee, and when I'm come back 5 mins later she'll still be talking.
I can't take it anymore. I just want to go somewhere where no one knows me and no one cares to know me. I just want to be by myself. I don't want to call anyone, see anyone, pretend to be anyone. I want to be in Witness Protection Program. I really do. I just want a job, no matter how crappy it is, as long as it pays the bill. I just want to be financially independent. I'm not the little girl and I don't want to be protected anymore. I'm 22 for fuck's sake. Let me be myself.
I want to disappear so no one can find me. Or, I want to win the lottery jackpot and just shove it in everyone's faces to shut them up.