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Friday, February 26, 2010

Job Hunting....

is a full-time job all by itself.

Factor that with 4 grad-level classes that are squished within 8-week period, graduate thesis, and the interstate move to Colorado in 2 months, you get a psychotic Tao.

I had to make my first call to a recruiter this morning to let her know that I've sent her my resume. Her company is based in Boulder CO, and it's an advertising firm. Everything's exactly perfect for me, and the first step I had to take was to give her a call.

What did I do?

I freaked out for about 2hrs and cried my eyes out.

Yes, what people go through every single day made me have an psychotic breakdown. My mom literally thought something bad happened to my BF due to the way I was crying. After hrs of stressing out and tears, I called the lady....and reached her voice mail. I felt stupid for losing my temper over a silly phone call, but at that time, the fear and the nervousness really got the best of me.

My family and BF are all very supportive. Even though they taunt me relentlessly with their questions, I know they mean well. They've said on numerous occasions that it's more than fine if I don't get a job. They said that I've been busy ever since I was about 3. I've never had a relaxed vacation. I've always taken different classes during my summer "vacation". Piano, calligraphy, AP classes, dual enrollments, etc. My mom mentioned that since I completed both my undergrad and master in 4 years, I deserve a year of break. My mom and my BF said that I don't have to worry about finances, they've taken care of that part.

However, the pressure is from myself. I guess since I've always been successful at pursuing what I wanted, it made me not handling failures very well. I kept putting off job hunting because if I don't look for jobs, then I'm unemployed b/c I choose to be. If I went and looked yet still unemployed, that means I'm rejected. I don't know about you guys, but rejections counts as a HUGE failure in my book.

When I applied to undergrad, I only applied to UF. If it didn't accept me then I would've had no where to go. I got in.

When I applied for Masters, I only applied to the MAIB program at UF. If I didn't get it, then I would've had no where to go. Again, I got in.

I feel like my luck has ran dry. I know that I won't be able to get the first job I applied for. There are bound to be rejections. Everyone and their grandmas have been looking for jobs with no avail. Business degrees are no longer that in-demand anymore. A lot of times I wish I would've studied something more specific, like graphic design or cooking, etc.

Job hunting for me is not mostly about money, it's about my pride. I don't want to be 22 and sit at home doing nothing. I want to be able to tell others that "Yes, I have a job". I know it's vain but that's just how I feel.

I envy those of you who have jobs. Very much. So my word of advise is that don't screw it up. I see people everyday performing poorly on their jobs, and I want to scream at them "DO YOU KNOW HOW LUCKY YOU ARE TO HAVE A JOB? DON'T LOSE IT!".

I'm blabbering. I need to stop. Oh yeah, I created a Twitter under iamgrape1119. Feel free to follow me!


What's called "Jumped on the bandwagon"?

Me joining the cult of Twitter. Feel free to follow me! :D

Let's see if this works. If not, go to Twitter and search iamgrape1119. Yes, I'm stupid and still trying to figure out how to embed the Twitter thing.

My Twitter Updates

I'm still trying to learn as much as I can about Twitter, so please bear with me. :D


Saturday, February 20, 2010


Hi guys! I just want to say a big THANK YOU to those of you who helped me out in my blog sale! I went ahead and ordered my BF the headphones <---MotherEffing Backordered til end of March so it won't be there on his birthday :( But nonetheless, together we achieved the goal! Thank you all so much!!

This is just an update of my life for those of you who are interested, LOL!


1. Getting my BF that Psyko Audio 5.1 Headphone. :D

2. Blue Diamond Almond milk! OMG guys this is THEEEEEEEE BEST EVER!!!!!!!!!!! This makes having cereals an entirely new experience. This is awesome in coffee or just by itself!

3. Going back to Miami on Monday after my Employment Law exam! Woohoo!! I will be in Miami for a week, til 3/1. I'm so glad to get a week of rest.

4. Mochi. This is Gainesville's answer to Pinkberry. It offers a lot of different flavors w/ all these fresh fruits and mochies! Everything's SELF-SERVE and it's priced by weight. I spent $5.95 there today........but it was worth it!!

5. Lay's Canjun Herbs & Spice chips! I'm still on the look out for ketchup, but for the time being, this would do!


1. I have to read about 1,000 pgs by 7am on Monday. Yeah....I've been procrastinating like mad....I'm praying really hard right now LOL!

2. Mom's nagging. 'Nuff said.

3. Long distance relationship. It really sucked this Valentine's day b/c it's the first time since dating my BF that I was alone on V-Day. I went to the grocery store to get some ice-cream and there were couples everywhere I looked. I felt so alone. All my friends are paired up and getting engaged and shit. : ( I can't wait to go out to Colorado to visit my BF in March. :D

4. Gaining weight. As I've mentioned, I've switched my BCP and the hormones totally F-ed up my body. My skin is going crazy and the worst part? I'M EATING EVERYTHING IN SIGHT! I can't stop eating!!!! I've gained 5lbs in Feb alone!! I'm so depressed....

That's it for now yo. I will update w/ more reviews soon. Stay tuned!


Tuesday, February 16, 2010

My current obcession?

The Winter Olympics of course!

More specifically the figure skating portion. I've always been a fan of ice skating. <---NOTE: This does NOT mean I'm good at skating, I just find figure skaters so graceful and suave.

My interest in figure skating has led me to do some research on Youtube, and I found this little gorgeous lady.

Her name? Mao Asada. She's so gorgeous, so elegant, and....IDK. I just adore her!


Tuesday, February 9, 2010

Pictorial Tutorial: How to emphasize your eyes (PIC HEAVY)

Hi guys! Today I'm going to demonstrate how to make my eyes bigger/brighter. I will also show (as many of you requested) how to do my eyebrows. To be honest, it's really simple to do and all it takes is trial and error.

Without further adieu, let's get started.

1. Start with clean moisturized face. Yes, I know I look gross. I swear to God that I'm the ONLY person whose skin is actually made worse by birth control pills.

2. Do your foundation, cheeks, powder, blah blah blah

3. Curl your lashes and prime your lids. I used ELF lash curler which, in my opinion, is a lot better than my Shu Uemura curler. I'm using MAC Soft Ochre paintpot as a base.

Now your lids are evened out.

4. Use a matte med-dark taupe shade with a MAC 217 to contour your eyes. Apply the darkest color from Physician's Formula Classic Canyon (or something) on your outer V. Make sure to BLEND IT OUT!

5. Line your eyes w/ your liner of choice. As always, I use Stila Smudgepot in Black. BTW, THIS IS HOW *I* DO MY LINER. Make it as thin or as thick depending on your personal preference. Personally, I find that thin liners actually make my eyes look smaller.

Wing the liner at the end.

6. Use a dark matte neutral brown on your bottom lid. I used Stila Nanda Devi e/s. Make sure you start from the outer corner and STOP 2/3 WAY IN.

7. Mascara your lashes up! I use Stila Lash Visor first to hold the curl/define my lashes, then Rimmel Max Volume Flash for volume.

8. Whip out my favorite flesh-colored Stila Kajal e/l in Topaz to line your waterline.

9. Use some of the Stila Nanda Devi e/s again with a stiff brow brush (Mine's Face Secret from Sally's), do your brows. Follow the natural shape and darkens it. I like to start on the outer half first before shading in the inner half.

Yes, I know I'm a tard and forgot to take the pics of my final FOTD. I will make it up. I promise.

BTW, Happy wants to say Hi.
Let me do a secksy pose for the paparazzi.

Nah, I'm over it.

Seriously, GO AWAY!

Me likey warm things.

And I like to play cute for when my owner wants to slaughter me for peeing in her bed....for the 3rd 2 days.

Anyways, love you all. Good night.


Wednesday, February 3, 2010

FOTD and Haircare Routine

Hey guys! Here is a massive update for you guys to make up for being MIA for a week.

First of all, I'd like a say a huge "THANK YOU" for the encouraging and comforting comments everyone left me in the last post. It's really heart-warming to hear how everyone's going through the same thing and that I'm not alone. I wish everyone the best in their life's journey, and please don't hesitate to ask me anything.

Anyways, since I've been MIA, I feel that a FOTD is in order. I've been doing REALLY simple looks lately, so I apologize for the boringness in advance.

Close up:

What I used:

--Revlon Photo Ready foundation in 003 Shell
--Laura Mercier Undercover 01 as concealer on my dark circles
--Ben Nye Luxury Powder in Banana to set

--MAC Emote to contour
--Ben Nye Pressed e/s in Autumn sunset as a blush
--Black Radiance Velvet & Glow highlighter in Modern Glamour (light pink side)

--Stila Chinois e/s as a brow highlight
--Ben Nye pressed e/s in Cork on the out V blended well
--Stila smudgepot in Black
--Ben Nye pressed e/s in Celestial Blu <----Gorgeous!!
--Stila espresso e/s for brows
--Stila Lash visor mascara for definition
--L'oreal extra collagen mascara for volume



A lot of people requested that I do a haircare products post to see what I use on my hair. Here's for you. :D As a starter, I wash my hair every other day since it doesn't get too oily. Oh, and sorry for the dirty products...they've been in my shower.

For shampoo, I use TreSemme Deep Cleansing shampoo. This gets my hair really clean and removes the buildup.

For daily conditioner, I alternate between Suave Sleek and Pantene Brunette Expression. They both get my hair silky smooth and smell really nice.

Once a week, I use a deep conditioner. Right now I'm using Excelsior Millennia Mud. It's different from other treatments in that it doesn't make your hair feel smooth when it's wet, but once it dries, the volume/shine/manageability is AMAZING! I got this at Sally's Beauty Supply.

I always use a leave-in conditioner after I towel dried my hair to protect from further damages. Right now I'm using Redken Extreme Anti-Snap. It just makes my hair more manageable and stronger.

For the days when I want extra shine, I use Redken Smooth Down Heat Glide. It's supposed to be a heat protectant, but I don't use any heat on my hair. Also, I feel that it smooths down my hair follicles and make it SHINE.

On the days when I overslept/too lazy to wash my hair, I use PSSSSSSSSST dry shampoo. You can get this at Walgreens for around $6. It smells like pineapples and doesn't dry out your hair. It cuts down the oil and make your roots more voluminous.

While we are on the topic of what I use, I decided to throw in body care products.

For shower gel, anything will do, but right now I'm using St. Ives Whipped Silk bodywash. It smells so soothing and is very moisturizing.

After my shower, while my body's still WET, I apply baby oil all-over. It seals in the water and make my skin really soft.

BTW, this is what I've been eating for a week straight. Smoke turkey legs!!! I eat one a day. these mofos are HUGE! They are so so so good though. I've been addicted to these ever since I went to Disney 7 years ago.

...and this is how you eat it.

Anyways, thanks for reading. :D