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Friday, February 26, 2010

Job Hunting....

is a full-time job all by itself.

Factor that with 4 grad-level classes that are squished within 8-week period, graduate thesis, and the interstate move to Colorado in 2 months, you get a psychotic Tao.

I had to make my first call to a recruiter this morning to let her know that I've sent her my resume. Her company is based in Boulder CO, and it's an advertising firm. Everything's exactly perfect for me, and the first step I had to take was to give her a call.

What did I do?

I freaked out for about 2hrs and cried my eyes out.

Yes, what people go through every single day made me have an psychotic breakdown. My mom literally thought something bad happened to my BF due to the way I was crying. After hrs of stressing out and tears, I called the lady....and reached her voice mail. I felt stupid for losing my temper over a silly phone call, but at that time, the fear and the nervousness really got the best of me.

My family and BF are all very supportive. Even though they taunt me relentlessly with their questions, I know they mean well. They've said on numerous occasions that it's more than fine if I don't get a job. They said that I've been busy ever since I was about 3. I've never had a relaxed vacation. I've always taken different classes during my summer "vacation". Piano, calligraphy, AP classes, dual enrollments, etc. My mom mentioned that since I completed both my undergrad and master in 4 years, I deserve a year of break. My mom and my BF said that I don't have to worry about finances, they've taken care of that part.

However, the pressure is from myself. I guess since I've always been successful at pursuing what I wanted, it made me not handling failures very well. I kept putting off job hunting because if I don't look for jobs, then I'm unemployed b/c I choose to be. If I went and looked yet still unemployed, that means I'm rejected. I don't know about you guys, but rejections counts as a HUGE failure in my book.

When I applied to undergrad, I only applied to UF. If it didn't accept me then I would've had no where to go. I got in.

When I applied for Masters, I only applied to the MAIB program at UF. If I didn't get it, then I would've had no where to go. Again, I got in.

I feel like my luck has ran dry. I know that I won't be able to get the first job I applied for. There are bound to be rejections. Everyone and their grandmas have been looking for jobs with no avail. Business degrees are no longer that in-demand anymore. A lot of times I wish I would've studied something more specific, like graphic design or cooking, etc.

Job hunting for me is not mostly about money, it's about my pride. I don't want to be 22 and sit at home doing nothing. I want to be able to tell others that "Yes, I have a job". I know it's vain but that's just how I feel.

I envy those of you who have jobs. Very much. So my word of advise is that don't screw it up. I see people everyday performing poorly on their jobs, and I want to scream at them "DO YOU KNOW HOW LUCKY YOU ARE TO HAVE A JOB? DON'T LOSE IT!".

I'm blabbering. I need to stop. Oh yeah, I created a Twitter under iamgrape1119. Feel free to follow me!



Penelope said...

Hi, I know how you feel! I'm job hunting too and it's been getting me down. I've just finished a PhD and almost wish I never did one as it's not helped me find a job at all. Don't worry, you will find a job! It's so sweet of your mum and bf to be so supporting. All the best!

Jenny said...

Hi, this entry really spoke to me. I graduated last June with a degree in business and let me tell you it is tough. Unemployment is depressing and it's even more depressing when your friends are able to find jobs and you're still looking. It's quite sad but we all have to put our dreams on hold and just do what we have to do. Don't be too hard on yourself. Times are tough so everyone is in the same boat. The best thing to do is start looking now, apply for internships, gain experience, whatever. I was thinking about going to grad school but I have already accumulated quite a bit of student loans and I am not ready for the GMAT. Anyway, good luck!

Askmewhats said...

Same with you, when I was younger Tao, I don't handle rejections well that's why i'm a go getter and very hardworking! I do want to scream at people who doesn't realize how lucky they are to have a job considering there are so many talented yet jobless individuals out there.

Tao, goodluck! Keep striving and I'm sure with that personality of yours, you'll do great :)

Olive said...

Girl, you have accomplished soooooo much in such a short period of time! You should be proud and stop stressing, you will find something eventually and so what if you don't get a job the very first try??? Stop being so hard on yourself, start enjoying life a bit. If it makes you feel better, I'm 23 with at least 2 more years to go for my BA, I live with my parents and work as a waitress lol...see there will always be people worse off than you hahaha....You'll do fine, stop worrying so much!!!

Une fille Lambda said...

Do not freak out! Seeking for a job especially this year is really tough because of the economical world crisis.
Like you, I do not handle so well failures, I achieved all my degrees right on time with honors each time and I am still looking for something 6 months after graduating.
It is hard of course but I try to convince myself that I do everything I can to succeed. It may just be not the right time for us. GOOD LUCK <3

Ting Ting said...

I can understand what you're going through as I am also in job hunting mode myself currently. Well...all the best. You can do it. =)

Anonymous said...

In this economy, there are people aged 45 and don't have a job... Part about job hunting is the "hunt" so don't get rejections get you down. My friends who graduated already for a year hasn't found a job yet. The ones even in the medical field haven't found one yet. It's tough out there... so don't feel TOO pressured. Everyone's going through it.

Carine said...

aaw you sound so anxious :/ I must find a job too - only for the summer but I still need the money badly. I'm sure you will find a job, you're qualified and apparently hard-working..Who wouldn't want an employee like that ?

Good luck !

mayaari said...

you've accomplished a lot more than most people your age! you should consider taking some time off just to get your bearings and relax again (maybe not a full year, but a couple of months? 6 months?)....or spend some "time off" to apply for jobs and go to interviews. Times are definitely tough, so everyone is working harder to find a job or keep the job that they have...and it's always rough for new grads because a lot of places still want you to have some sort of experience, even though most people won't have any previous job experience.

You've got the added challenge of trying to find a job in a different city/state than the one you're currently can be a real challenge (I was living in VA and spent the better part of a year applying for jobs in PA to move closer to my bf), but one way or another I'm sure you'll be able to find something. Have you thought about getting into a temp agency? It's not the best job, but you'd get different jobs and only have to work when you wanted the assignment - and it might be a way to get your foot in the door with a company that you like.

Material Beauty said...

Job hunting is one of the most draining experiences ever. I know this because i was exactly in the same position you are a few months ago. I graduated in June and instead of having a great time on the day of my graduation, I was applying for jobs left, right and center! I went home, stayed up all night working on my resume, and looking at potential jobs, speaking to recruiters. It was crazy. I ended up finding a job in one month but it didn't turn out the way I wanted it to so I searched again 6 months later (but not as aggressively) and found a great job that I am proud of. What I'm saying is that it takes time. Your luck did not dry out, just use your sparkling charm! :) I know you can do it. I will be following you on Blogger! :)

Tinnku said...

I too got a good job after my long job hunting and job search. Through my job search I came to know about the site Cloudjobs best online source for job seekers in computing idnustry.