Search This Blog

Wednesday, January 27, 2010

Why do people that love you the most....

...also annoy the shit out of you?

Yes, this is a rant. This ain't beauty-related. If you don't want your day to be ruined by my potty mouth/foul attitude, it'd be best for you to exit this blog right now. Come back tomorrow and I might be all cheery and fun again. Either that, or I will be so loaded up on caffeine, but you won't be able to tell anyway.

I've been driven crazy by people who are close to me; people who, as they say, love me the most and want to shield me from all bad things. However, when it comes to a point where I want to join the Witness Protection Program in order to not have to call/see you, it's no longer called love.

I'm at a point in my life right now to make some tough decisions. I need to focus on my courses in order to graduate in May; I need to find a job out in Colorado so I can be with my BF after graduation; and I also need to figure out what to do with my townhouse after I leave Gainesville. All these shit have been taking a toll on my mood.

Thus, it's suffice to say all the questioning I've been getting from my mom, the BF, and his mom haven't been helping.

The things my mom asks:
"Are you looking for a job?" "What kind of job are you looking at?" "That's BLUE-COLLAR!! My daughter can't work blue collar jobs!" <---This is after I told her I want to work at MAC if I can't find other jobs. "What are you gonna do with the place?" "How are your classes going? I hope you aren't making me disappointed." "Why can't you get a job? So & So got a job that pays $80,000 straight out of college. What's wrong with you?" "Why are you spending so much money?"

The things my BF asks:
"Are you coming out to Colorado?" "Are you getting a job?" "Are you looking for jobs?" "What kind of stuff do you want to do when you come out during Spring Break?" "Where are you gonna live? We need to find a new place cuz my apartment isn't big enough for all your crap." "What would you do if you can't find a job in Colorado? Are you just gonna sit at home? I won't be able to support both of us and two cats with my salary."

The things his mom asks:
"Are you moving out to Colorado to keep my son company?" "When are you getting married?" "I want my grandbabies. When are you going to have kids?" "How's the job searching thing going?" "How are your classes? What are you taking? Can you handle them?"

SHUT. THE. FUCK. UP! Everyone. Just chill the fuck out and shut the fuck up. I don't know what's going on. I don't know how I'm going to get a job. I don't know what to do with my townhouse. I don't know I don't know I don't know.

While some of you might think the questions are normal, it gets really annoying after the 10th time. The thing that makes me angry is that while they ask those and demand answers, they don't help me to find a solution.

The MOST annoying one is my mom. She's your typical overprotective Asian mom. While my BF envies that she provides financial support for me, he doesn't know how annoying it is to HAVE to call her 5 times a day to "check in". She doesn't listen. She doesn't stop talking when I try to explain my side of the story. She doesn't stop nagging. She has all my information for everything: banks, credit cards, schools, EVERYTHING. She would call somewhere pretending to be me to get information/update. Sometimes she'll talk on a phone and I will go get a drink of water/pee, and when I'm come back 5 mins later she'll still be talking.

I can't take it anymore. I just want to go somewhere where no one knows me and no one cares to know me. I just want to be by myself. I don't want to call anyone, see anyone, pretend to be anyone. I want to be in Witness Protection Program. I really do. I just want a job, no matter how crappy it is, as long as it pays the bill. I just want to be financially independent. I'm not the little girl and I don't want to be protected anymore. I'm 22 for fuck's sake. Let me be myself.

I want to disappear so no one can find me. Or, I want to win the lottery jackpot and just shove it in everyone's faces to shut them up.

FML.

I'm out.
Tao



Friday, January 22, 2010

(Semi) New Hair!!

As I mentioned, I couldn't bear walk out the door looking like a Carrot Top, so I redyed my hair the day after the hair disaster. Was it bad for my hair? Very much so. Was it necessary? Absolutely.

This time I used a color called Chocolate by L'oreal Preference Mega Brown. It has a tinge of burgundy in it. I find that red/burgundy color look good w/ my skintone. It makes me look...paler. I like it. The roots are still a lot lighter than the rest of my hair, but that's understandable sine they were almost blond the first time. I just gotta be patient and wait for another month or so before dying it again.

Indoor:

See how much darker my ends are? Well at least they are sort of uniformed in color now.

Outdoor:


I'm more of a brunette now! You can't really see the red at the ends unless you look closely. Also, excuse the skin. I just found out that Cod Liver/Fish oil doesn't agree with my body. I took it after seeing Kandee Johnson (whom I LOVE) talk about its benefits on improving skin texture and hydration level. I took it before I went to sleep so I don't have to deal w/ fishy burps, and when I woke up the morning...BAM! Breakout central on my face. *tears*


Anyways, here's a lip swatch of Rimmel Moisture Renew l/s in Pink Chic. Love it!

Anyway, I just realized how fast the (DOUBLE SCREEN) computer in my school's library is at uploading pics, so expect more frequent posts! You bet yo ass I will be getting TWO monitors for my computer when I win the lotto. They also have this 24/7 computer lab dedicated to the Architecture majors (but everyone w/ student ID could use it) that has APPLE computers with HUGE monitors!! I swear I will learn how to be computer savvy. I SWEAR! I'm so sick of envying other Youtuber/bloggers for having awesome graphics (Yes Miss Pink, I'm talking about you and your amazingly hawt perky booty).

---I promise I will learn how to use Photoshop even if it kills me.
---I promise I will not be afraid of using an Apple computer just because it has a single click mouse.
---I promise I will learn how to have a cool banner thingiemajig for my YT channel AND a cool intro for my vids.

Also, for those of you who are interested, Employment Law textbook = Death. It's 2,000 pages (I'm on pg 159) and I have to finish this by mid-Feb. Did I mention my whole grade for that class depends on ONE fucking final?!!!

I HATE small fonts. It has no pictures either........... I hate being an adult, LOL!


Anyways, I hope everyone's having a great day (and weekends). I will be spending mine at the library. Ciao Bellas!

Tao

Saturday, January 16, 2010

LMAO!

Sorry, this isn't related to beauty, but it's just too funny!
image from http://img.makeupalley.com/9/9/2/5/1116354.JPG


Also, I sent this to my BF b/c the little animal is too cute.
image from http://posterous.com/getfile/files.posterous.com/leanmeanfightingmachine/kvwhJDqplFcrGAfzJtsqqEnmJkdElJHfAwHkmhFcmBrpDyCseeavilnfjwav/media_httpdontclickthiswhatingodsnameifuckinglovethisstickjpg_cwfFpinFqjfrgme.jpg.scaled500.jpg

My BF wrote me back: "This is EXACTLY how you look when you are at the makeup counter".

Ah, I love him.

More beauty-related posts coming up next. :D
Tao

Tuesday, January 12, 2010

New drugstore lippies swatch!

Hi guys! I redyed my hair, but haven't taken any pics yet. I promise I will post some soon, so please bear with me.

I got 4 new drugstore lipsticks before leaving for winter break, but I haven't posted anything about them, so here is to make that up to you.

I got two Revlon's from their new l/s collection (the one w/ Jessica Alba in the ad). I got one called Baby Pink and one called Soft Nude (creative, huh?) Their packaging is more on the matte/sophisticated type, very grown-up.

Soft Nude and Baby Pink under flash

Baby Pink and Soft Nude

I also got two from Rimmel's new Moisture Renew collection, one in Spotlight Beige, and one in Pink Chic. I really like the packaging, especially the crown!!

Spotlight beige on left, pink chic on right

Pink chic on left, Spotlight beige on right

I admit, the pinks and beiges look awfully alike from the two brands, so I decided to make a comparison.

Spotlight beige V. Soft Nude under flash.
As you can see, Spotlight Beige is a lot warmer and has more color to it. Spotlight Beige is A LOT easier for the general public to pull off because it's not a flat out nude color. I didn't look like a corpse wearing it. I feel that Soft Nude is a matte dupe to MAC Freckletone l/s. The texture is a lot drier and more "editorial".

Pink Chic V. Baby Pink
Pink Chic is more on the creamier side. The color is like a Strawberry-n-cream toned. There's no shimmer, and it's very moisturizing. If you like colors like MAC's A Rose Romance lipstick and Maybelline's Pink Please l/s, you will LOVE this color. Trust me, the texture is to DIE for!! Baby pink, on the other hand, is what I'd like to cool a hooker pink. Yes it's light, yes it looks beautiful in the tube, but on my lips the silver shimmer is just way too overwhelming.

Swatches together!

T-B: Baby Pink, Pink Chic, Spotlight Beige, and Soft Nude.


L-R: Baby Pink, Pink Chic, Spotlight Beige, and Soft Nude.

I apologize for not taking any lip swatches, but since the weather is so dry my lips have been incredibly chapped. I will post pics when the weather warms ups. :)

Overall, I STRONGLY recommend the Rimmel Moisture Renew l/s, 5/5!! The Revlon ones....eh, not so much.

BTW, please take a glimpse of my life:
Fun.

Thanks for reading y'all! Night!
Tao

Sunday, January 10, 2010

....Hair disaster ahead...plus FOTD

I decided to dye my hair last night out of pure boredom. I decided to dye it a light caramel color welcoming the warmer months. I went to Sally's and bought L'oreal Mega Brown in Caramel and decided to have fun with it.

HOWEVER, since when did caramel mean Carrot Top? I washed my hair and was so excited to see the result, but my heart skipped a beat when I saw the mirror. My hair looked so....ORANGE. The worse thing is that my roots were A LOT lighter than my ends. I saw that and I knew exactly what went wrong.

Since I was going lighter, I should've started at the ends and work my way to the roots. The heat from the scalp process the virgin hair faster and deposit the color more efficiently. I forgot about that. Yeah, it was my own fault.

Before: Dark burgundy with dark brown roots

After: Auburn hair with light orange-y roots.

Fuck this shit. I can't go to school like this!! I debated on whether I should re-dye my hair today since it might be too soon and too damaging for my hair, but I really don't feel comfortable walking out like this. So I decided to go to Sally's again and dye my hair a darker color. I will take pics later since my hair is still really wet.

Today's FOTD: please excuse the skin. I swear BCP is making it breakout like crazy.



What I used:

Face:
--Coverblend concealer under the eyes
--Revlon Photoready powder in Light to Medium

Cheeks:
--MAC emote blush to contour
--Mehron blush in Tropicoral
--Stila Kitten e/s to highlight

Eyes:
--UDPP
--Stila Chinois as browbone highlight
--MAC Emote in the crease
--Stila smudgepot in black
--Ben Nye e/s in Royal purple as bottom liner
--Stila Kajal e/l in Topaz on waterline
--Stila Lash Visor mascara

Lips:
--Nothing in the pics, later threw on some Beauty Rush minty balm.

I'm crossing my fingers right now that the new color is turning out more successfully than last night.

I'm out people. Night!
Tao

Thursday, January 7, 2010

Since when... (rant ahead)

...did everyone I know started pairing off and getting engaged? More importantly, why do they want to flaunt it to everyone else?

I understand how people fall in love and get married, but I thought all relationships need time to blossom into something significant. These people we are talking about dated for like 3 weeks - 3 months max, and now they are getting married. Next thing you know, two complete strangers would just get married.

I don't care if they are married for convenience, lust, or love, it just sucks majorly being alone when everyone is talking about wedding plans and guest lists. Because other people are getting married and I'm not, I got the majority of the work for the assignment since "I have more free time".

I know I've mentioned how I don't think I'm the marrying type, but I can't help but feel a little insecure. Too many love tragedies remind me how men (women too) are untrustworthy. I don't regret spending the past 5 years with the BF because he truly is an amazing person and I've learned a lot from him. However, how does one know when the love just turns into just a sense of familiarity? I am no longer sure if we are staying together because we love eachother or are we just used to having the other person around. If we bothered to look, could we each find someone better?

I just feel a little threatened by all the cute girls in my BF's PHD program. What can prevent him from leaving me after he's done w/ his PHD and become successful? There's no guarantee. Nothing's set in stones. I know, I know, people get divorced, but at least they have 50%. I trust my BF to stay faithful, but what if I'm not good enough? What if, after spending the best years of my life on him, he leaves me for someone else? I just want to feel secure again. I just want to be able to hug him and kiss him whenever I want again, just like when we were living together.

Long distance relationship is really taking its toll on me. I'm the true Scorpio, so naturally I'm not very trusting, and being thousands of miles apart doesn't help. I know I sound desperate, but after being bombarded by all these wedding talks, I no longer want to face my uncertain future.

Enough ramble, I've a ton of assignments to do, thanks to being temporarily single.

Night,
Tao

Wednesday, January 6, 2010

I'm back! Pic Heavy!!

Hi guys! I'm back from Miami! School started yesterday :( The break flew by and it was over before I knew it.

It is SOOOOOOOOOOOOO cold in Gainesville right now. We have a freeze warning everyday and the possibility of snow on Friday. Right now it's 11:39AM and it's a whopping 26 degrees outside. At nights it gets down to the teens. I've never been so cold in my life. Since I have a 7:25am class everyday, I literally cry when I wake up in the morning. Usually winter in Gainesville is around the 50-40 range, but this year is abnormal. My hands are so frozen right now that it hurts to type.

Anyways, this is more of an update post. While in Miami, I didn't do anything but shop, eat, sleep, go to Heat (basketball) games, and eat some more.

This is the Heat game I went to w/ my BF and his family the first day I got back. Since his stepdad is the Executive Vice President of the Miami Heat, the BF and I are dragged to the games whenever we are back in Miami, not that I'm complaining or anything. We get to eat yummy (and free) food and watch hot athletes, who can complain about that?

The hoochie Heat dancers. Their bodies are bangin'!!! Some of them need to learn how to apply falsies though....they were falling off.

The delicious Dwayne Wade.

I was bored so I look a pic of my sparkly nails.

My little piece of heaven: Peanut M&Ms!!


My family and I went to the Pinecrest Part (previously Parrot Jungle) the next day since the weather was BEAUTIFUL that day.

My BF and I before the trip

In the car, on the way. Note to self: Wear lipgloss.



Then the next day, my family and I went to the park near us called the Coral Reef Park.


We forgot to bring bread, otherwise the ducks would follow us too... :(



I wore one of my Xmas presents: Sketchers Shape-ups! They are THE most comfortable shoes I've ever worn. Don't know if they work you out though cuz i didn't feel anything.

They have some fun exercise equipments for the elderly at the park, so we goofed off. :D


The day my parents and I went to the game. It was a Xmas present for my parents from my BF's family. We got the 5-star treatment all the way. We were wineing and dining with celebs like Vivica A. Fox. My parents were so excited. We got to the game SUPER early though. Even after we had an hour long dinner at the Flagship Lounge we were still half an hour early for the game. What to do? Cam-Whore!


My FOT(hat)D if anyone's interested:

My memory is a little vague, but I know for sure I used
--Stila kajal liner in Tiger's Eyes on the bottom waterline
--Stila smudgepot in black
--Cheap lashes from Ebay (Model 21 has the BEST ones)
--Stila blush duo in Quaint & Coral <--officially my fave blush
--Revlon Photoready foundation in Shell <--review coming up soon

Then on NYE, we went to this restaurant in Pembroke Pines called Pepper's for their famous hot pot buffet. I LOVE LOVE LOVE hotpot! However, as a rule, you can't eat hotpot by yourself. That's just too lonely.



That's it y'all! Have a great day!
Tao